My Teacher Fried My Brains by Bruce Coville

It seemed like the town motto was, “I don’t want you disappearing like that Peter Thompson.” (Well, my parents didn’t say that. With the grown-ups that scared, you can be sure kids around here had about the worst summer ever, mostly because parents were afraid to let their little darlings out of the house. Even though Broxholm was gone, people were still frightened-as if they thought there were aliens still lurking around, waiting to grab people. See, things had been pretty tense in Kennituck Falls since last spring, when this alien named Broxholm kidnapped weird Peter Thompson and took him off into space.

“What planet are they from?”-a good question, considering what had been going on around our town. One more stunt like that and you’re heading straight to the principal’s office!” Or if they’re feeling particularly nice they might say, “Now, Duncan, that’s not how we solve our problems, is it?”

That may be true, but I’ve noticed that when I hit kids in school none of the teachers say, “Why, Duncan, what a good lesson you’ve just given little Jimmy in the fact that life is rough.” What they usually say is, “Look, you little jerk, I’ve had about enough of your antics. Dad’s theory is that life is rough, and I might as well get used to it. I would have yelled for him to make Patrick leave me alone, but it wouldn’t do any good. “You creep!” I screamed, trying to wriggle out of his grip. But that’s how things work in our family. You know how it is: you get upset, things build up inside you, and suddenly you BOP! someone. I would tell you why my big brother was beating on me if I could, but I can’t, because I don’t know. I said “OW!” instead of “out” because Patrick had just landed a major noogie on my skull. “Patrick!” I shouted, mad now instead of terrified. “Aliens!” But even as I was screaming, I saw in the mirror that the arm holding me was a strong human arm. “It’s not go-away time, it’s bopping time!”Ī strong arm wrapped around my neck. “Go away!” I yelled, spattering toothpaste foam across the mirror. “Hey, Duncan,” rasped a voice from behind me, “what time is it?”Ī wave of terror washed over me. I was standing in the bathroom, brushing my teeth, when I looked up and saw a horrible green face in the mirror.

My Teacher Fried My Brains by Bruce Coville